The Seinfeld of blog posts

I went to Target tonight to buy some things for my work "white elephant Christmas exchange". Technically I guess its a "holiday exchange" because I don't think you are allowed to say "Christmas" at work. At any rate, you have to buy a gift worth at least $20. Most people buy lotion sets, useless knick knacks, snuggies (I guess thats the same as a useless knick knack), or other junk.

I typically buy a DVD - most people like movies. I like movies but I never get around to watching DVDs. The past two years I have bought a Tiger Beat magazine as a gag gift to include with my DVD. I didn't want to break tradition so I picked up the latest issue of Tiger Beat to throw in with my gift. The current issue's big story is "Is Justin Beiber a Good Kisser?". (see picture for proof i didn't make this up) I didn't think much about it much at the time but then realized that this was the only thing in my cart. A 30 year old guy walking around with Tiger Beat in his cart....nice.

I wandered around looking for other stuff to buy (they had a good deal on sweat pants $6.48) and finally made my way to the checkout counter. I generally don't pay much attention to those around me in line but considering I was about to buy a Tiger Beat I was paying pretty close attention to make sure no one noticed. The lady in front of me had a very noticeable mustache, very thick. A mustache I would be proud to own. I then overheard this conversation between the mustache lady and the cashier.

Cashier: Do you do hair?

Mustache Lady: No, I do makeup.

Cashier: Oh that makes sense.

Wait, wait. Why would it make sense for the female Tom Selleck to do makeup? Wouldn't a makeup artist be the last person to have unsightly facial hair?

If you haven't noticed by now, there is no point to this.

News Break

Ricky Martin came out of the closet this week.

In other shocking news, my shoe size is the same as it was yesterday, Maroon 5 sucks and people like ice cream.

Hey Mike Tyson - need some work?

I am going to try to blog more this year. It seems like I have all these thoughts and never write them down, or type them down.

Is this real? I really cant figure it out. The Taco Bell diet?

http://www.drivethrudiet.com/

Speaking of not being able to figure out if things are real. I saw this show called Jersey Shore today. This might be the worst MTV show since 2Gether: The Series. See here if you don't remember http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEKWZk16N_w

I think Jersey Shore might be worse actually because these people are real even if their tans aren't. The episode I saw today showed this one girl called Snickers or something get punched in the face. It was really pretty funny, she probably deserved it. I don't punch people, but if I did punch people, I'd probably punch her or hire someone to punch her.

This leads me to the point of this blog. I think there is a niche out there for "Sucker Punch Hit Men". I think people like me (who don't punch people) would pay other people to punch a "mark" of their choice.

Maybe not.

I feel like playing "Punch Out" now though.