Dallas Cowboys Preview

So I've heard a lot the last two days about how Tony Romo dumped Jessica on the day before her birthday. Why would he do this everyone asks? The answer is simple...he JUST NOW realized that she used to date a member of 98 degrees. That's like dating a girl that used to date one of the guys from Hanson. I mean who would do that?...oh...wait...crap...uhhhh....

Anyway, this is a good lead in to thinking about the fast approaching NFL season. I have always been a pretty big Cowboys fan, though I do admit to skipping a few years in the Quincy Carter era. I was as obnoxious last year as anyone - I could have swore up and down that they were going to win the SuperBowl before the season even started.

This year I am going to take a more realistic approach at how we (yes I am on the team) may fair.

Offensively I think the Cowboys are still in the top tier. Roy Williams will be much improved this season and if he and Romo can get on the same page I predict success. If Jason Garrett uses the three running backs as he should and the offensive line protects like it did 2 years ago we shouldn't have any problems putting up 28+ points per game. I'm pretty interested to see how Garrett uses all 3 backs. Personally - I think Tashard Choice might just be the best of the three in terms of all around talent.

Defensively we have made some changes but the man who lead the league in sacks last year (Demarcus Ware) is back and as beastly as ever. The secondary should be improved with the purging of Roy Williams and Anthony Henry (possibly the two slowest defensive backs ever). I think the young defense will still struggle at time but should be fairly solid.

Below is the Cowboys schedule and my corresponding predictions. Maybe I am a little TOO optimistic but I have them splitting games with the Giants, Eagles and Skins. The Atlanta, Carolina and New Orleans games could go either way but I think they will take 2 of the 3 . All of this leads to a 11-5 record for the year. Seems feasible to me.

DATE	OPPONENT (TV BROADCAST)	TIME	Prediction
Sun, Sept 13	@ Tampa Bay (FOX)	Noon	W
Sun, Sept 20	NEW YORK GIANTS (NBC)	7:15 PM	L
Mon, Sept 28	CAROLINA (ESPN)	7:30 PM	W
Sun, Oct 4	@ Denver (FOX)	3:15 PM	W
Sun, Oct 11	@ Kansas City (FOX)	Noon	W
Sun, Oct 18	BYE
Sun, Oct 25	ATLANTA (FOX)	3:15 PM	W
Sun, Nov 1	SEATTLE (FOX)	NOON	W
Sun, Nov 8	@ Philadelphia (NBC)	7:15 PM	L
Sun, Nov 15	@ Green Bay (FOX)	3:15 PM	W
Sun, Nov 22	WASHINGTON (FOX)	NOON	W
Thurs, Nov 26	OAKLAND (CBS)	3:15 PM	W
Sun, Dec 6	@ New York Giants (FOX)	3:15 PM	W
Sun, Dec 13	SAN DIEGO (CBS)	3:15 PM	L
Sat, Dec 19	@ New Orleans (NFLN)	7:15 PM	L
Sun, Dec 27	@ Washington (NBC)	7:15 PM	L
Sun, Jan 3	PHILADELPHIA (FOX)	NOON	W

Advances in Technology

I was asked this question yesterday "Why don't you know how to drive a stick shift?"

Valid question I guess.

Here was my answer:

"Hmm, maybe the same reason I dont churn my own butter, sew my own clothing or slaughter my own meat....because I dont have to."

Thanks technology.

TechnoloGees = Gangsters with computers

Dont point your finger until you check your lap

Ok so this is my first ever mobile blog...so if it looks funny or something, that's why.

Jolee and I are on our way to TN to go with her sister to a bridal expo...well, I will probably do something else, anything else, maybe even go to jail for a while.

Anyway - we stopped at Target to get some waters for the trip and I also picked up a package of everyones favorite candy coated peanut butter morsels (Reeses Pieces). When I got back into the car I passed out the waters and realized my candy WAS NOT IN THE BAG! I was ticked - saying things like "how dumb do you have to be to forget to put one of three items into my bag?" and "I'm totally suing Target for this". Ok maybe I didn't say the second one.

Totally craving Reeses the whole trip totally ruined the ride for me...until we stopped to get gas. I got out to fill Jolee's tank and what is in my seat? Yeah I was sitting on my candy the whole time. My backside was laughing at me for an hour while it enjoyed the peanut buttery goodness my mouth was pouting about.

Sorry Target lady for thinking you sucked.

Possibly the greatest idea ever...maybe...no probably not

Squeez Bacon!

Easy Cheese and Squeeze Bacon biscuit! Talk about a breakfast.

The possibilities are endless.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/squeez-bacon.html?cpg=cj

Strange Solicitation

Ahh man its late and I would probably be better off sleeping than doing this. But....something interesting happened to me this evening and I want to document it before I forget.

I was driving down Peachtree Street on my way to my Wednesday evening Bible study when I hear a car honking. I wasn't sure if these honks were directed toward me but I looked anyway. To the left of me I see a man and a woman in a mid 90s white minivan. The man is trying to talk to me - generally speaking this cant be good.

Because my window was already down I decided to see what he wanted. Keep in mind this dialogue happened while driving 40 mph

Me: Yeah

Guy: Are you interested in getting any body work done on your car?

Me: What?

Guy: You know - scratches - I can fix those scratches on your car

Me: No - thank you.

Ok - I have heard of ALOT of goofy business ideas but this one has to take the cake. Driving around in your old school minivan (THAT NEEDS BODY WORK OF ITS OWN!!!) and soliciting customers can not be a profitable business. I'm sure this business model is about as profitable the company that put out the DVD rewinder.

What would he have done if I said "Oh yeah sure sounds good"? Would he have motioned for me to pull over into the Kroger parking lot so he could pull out his ball peen hammer and go to work on the Grandest?

Which brings me to another point - my car is NOT that beat up and if I was concerned about the 10 years worth of minor shopping cart dings I certainly wouldnt have it fixed on the fly by Miguel's Mobile Minivan Repair Shop.

Anybody want 2 cds?

To see dees nuts....ahahahhaha that never gets old. Just like the old "pretend to shake someones hand and slick back the hair" trick.

I bought a few new cds the past few weeks and I figured I'd give a quick review of sorts. If you only listen to music played on the local pop station chances are you should stop reading this now.

1. Emery - "While Broken Hearts Prevail ...In Shallow Seas We Sail"

I absolutely loved Emery's first album "The Weak End". Everything since then has just been ok. I mean its Emery but it all sounds the same. In short - this band is like a waffle. The first few bites are amazing but about halfway through its a mushy, soggy mess and you are really wishing you had ordered the omelet.

2. The Mars Volta - "Octahedron"

By the title of the album you would think that this is the El Paso band's 8th album - but in reality it is their 5th. A little softer and more acoustic sound this time around from the typically frantic prog rock band. While the sound is a little different this time, there is no mistaking the vocal range of Cedric Bixler-Zavala who could really teach that Adam Lambert (American Idol) a thing or two about how not to try so hard when hitting the high notes.

At any rate - Octahedron is top notch work and I would recommend it to anyone who is looking to step outside of the usual bland everyday rock music. It did take 2 listens though for me to "get it" because I was expecting something else.

Remember - People don't make the music - the music makes the people. I think I just coined that phrase.

Not to be confused with Leia

For some reason today I was thinking about words or phrases that I would really like to bring back into "style". These were all a mainstays in my vocabulary about 15 years ago and I suggest that we all begin using them again.

1) Psyche

2) Pshaw (pronounced 'SHAW' for those of you who werent cool in 1995)

3) Radi-cool. Not to be confused with radical. Actually I think I made that one up.

Ok - on to the real topic of the day. This topic is recycled but I still find it relevant.

Attention Princesses

"Hi my name is Becky and I like shopping, Gucci and guys who really care about me. I am sick of guys only wanting me for my looks. My favorite color is pink, I carry my dog Riley around the mall in his special doggy carry case (in his Burberry collar of course) I am a princess and deserve to be treated like one"

Sound familiar? It should...it seems like every girl I meet nowadays has this as her mantra. My history might be wrong but can you just call yourself a princess? I thought you had to be of royalty..well lets see what dictionary.com says.

A woman member of a royal family other than the monarch, especially a daughter of a monarch.

A woman who is a ruler of a principality.

A woman who is a hereditary ruler; a queen.

A noblewoman of varying status or rank.

The wife of a prince.

Hmm...seems like the incidence of these types of ladies would be quite rare. But somehow when I type "princess" into Myspace the search returns over 50 pages of girls who have bestowed this "crown" upon themselves. While these lovely ladies may be trying to be different, what they are actually doing is lumping themself into a category that is already full. Adding yourself to this category is really only making yourself fit in to a stereotype.

Thus..purchasing a 5 dollar crown from walmart and placing it atop your pretty blonde (or brown whatever) hair does not make you a princess, nor does it make guys want to have anything to do with you. Making your myspace pink and glitter filled does not make you a princess either. You are not in a cartoon, you do not have 3 ugly step sisters who make you clean the floor.

You are not a princess.

Thank you.

Much love,

King Jonathan