Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hot Dogs and Hard Labor - Welcome to IKEA

If any of you are like me, you have a love/hate relationship with IKEA
I have broken an average trip to IKEA into 3 phases and listed some quotes you might hear in each phase. 

Phase 1 - Excitement phase
"I cant wait to get my new "insert new furniture name here" home."
"Wow, this furniture is so trendy, its like something you would see in an upscale shop"
"These prices are tremendous, I cant believe a whole bedroom set can be under $1000 bucks!"
"They are really smart to have hotdogs, pizza and cinnamon buns for customers to purchase, and they taste pretty good too."

Phase 2 - Holy crap I have to load this in my compact car phase
"What was I thinking? There is no way this is going to fit."
"Why dont they have shopping bags?"
"Maybe if I scoot my seat all the way up and hold the steering wheel with my teeth...."
"Did I get the right hinge for the door?"
"Why is this so heavy? and why doesnt anyone work here?"

Phase 3 - Directions and free time are overrated anyway
"Can these directions be any more vague? Is the cartoon man with the big nose holding a screwdriver or a machine gun? Did this package come with the machine gun or did I have to buy it separately?"
"I shouldnt have eaten 3 hotdogs before all this heavy lifting"
"Is it bedtime already? I just now mastered lining up the holes, holding the door and twisting the allen wrench at the same time."



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